The idea is that, before they are conditioned not to, kids live in the moment. They don’t watch the clock or set a schedule of what toys they can play with at certain times. They go with their feelings and enjoy every moment. And for that, children are happy, unique little souls. As they grow older, they get more rules applied to their lives and are constantly being told what is “normal” and right. They hide the original part of themselves deep down inside and cover it up with ideas and actions that belong to others. Then these children go to school, then college and then get jobs. Then those children become me and you.

When I was a kid…

I had dreams. I wanted to be an FBI agent, a dancer, a writer, a veterinarian. All at the same time.  Every day was a magical journey and my imagination would take me somewhere new.  I slept when I wanted (bedtimes existed… but that is what a flashlight and a book is for, my friends), ate when I was hungry, and did whatever my heart desired. I most definitely was not a slave to the clock, or to anyone else’s expectations.  I was my own island, and if anybody needed me they could paddle out and join me.

Growing up

Unlike most, I remained on my own island through most of my schooling. I didn’t care much for grades and didn’t dress or act to please anyone else. I’m not sure when it changed, but one day I woke up and realized that people do in fact look at me, and in turn they make judgments. (Looking back, that is when all my problems began.) As time inched forward I began realize I had no path in life, like everyone else seemed to have. I was told that doing things based on a purely emotional response would never get me anywhere noteworthy. I began to make lists. My whole life was placed in notebooks and was organized into a series of checklists. I fought against the clock.  Once I graduated college and spent a few years in the “real world” I began to worry about things like savings accounts and health insurance. Now I find myself at the point where everything in my life is just a means to an end. I rarely do something just to enjoy it. I am in a creative industry but I feel like my creativity is squashed by all of the Do’s and Don’ts and other controlling factors in my life. My instinct takes second fiddle to logic and reason. I am officially an adult but deep inside my inner child is screaming and crying to be let out.

I want to be a child again

What is really so wrong with a child’s mentality?  Who says that at a certain point we have to just grow up and drop everything we feel is right? Who says we have to needlessly worry about things and events that aren’t even necessary?  I for one miss impromptu naps, fort building and laying in the grass watching the clouds form elephants with mustaches. I want to be able to do these things without looming thoughts of student loan bills and laundry. I don’t want to be a slave to time, or anything else.

Is being present, enough?

Yes, I know the answer to this dilemma… be present. I’ve read Eckhart Tolle, and the Tao and many other zen-minded philosophy books about “being in the now”. I practice yoga. I most certainly am not in a state of presence during most times in my life, but I am aware of what it is and how to get there. But even if I made it there, is that enough? If you find complete and utter presence in everything you do, then does creativity and security with oneself follow suit?  Will presence allow you to quit your job and spend the day making panda bears out of cotton balls? Only time will tell.

How did these people even find the White House?