I’ve spent the last week reviewing 2011 and making big plans for 2012. A new year always excites me, as should any time when a blank slate and a fresh new start is offered. Nothing is as exciting as challenging yourself to do new things.
Reviewing the past year made me a bit uneasy. 2011 was not a good year for me. The beginning of 2011 started off as looking incredibly promising. I had a sweet new office space, a brand new LLC, and was living in my dream city. Then things started to slowly fall apart. I couldn’t find my focus and I became removed and depressed. Then – BAM – I was living back on the East Coast in a place that left me uninspired and even more depressed. Needless to say, 2011 was a big, fat, shitty flop for me. It felt like all the progress I had made in my life up until that point meant nothing and I had rolled back down the hill.
Although I have high hopes for 2012, the act of planning still left me with an empty feeling in my gut. There was something missing in my life and in my planning process that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Then I remembered what year we were rolling into: 2012 – THE YEAR THE WORLD ENDS!
For those of you unfamiliar – The Mayan Calender, one of the most prophetic writings ever, ends on December 21, 2012 (The Winter Solstice). This has caused many “experts” to believe that the world will end in less than a year from now. There are also many other fun theories surrounding this date. It could be the beginning of a global shift in consciousness. It could be when singularity starts to happen. (There is a really cool book called The Mystery of 2012 that poses all the possibilities that scientists and gurus alike think that this date holds.)
To be clear – I love end of world theories. I read my horoscope even though I think astrology is total bullshit. My modus operandi is to indulge, scoff, and then entertain that little voice in the back of my head that says “But what if it is truuueee?”. It is fun to dive into the unknown and to think about possibilities that most people would consider absurd.
The little voice in the back of my head asked me a silly question yesterday. “What if the world DOES end on December 21, 2012?? What would you do with your last year on Earth? How would you make the most of your life? How would you avoid what happened last year?” And then the big voice in the front of my head said, “AHA! The world is totally not ending on December 21, 2012. BUT you need to live your life like it will.” Then I began to write goals that would really change my life. Goals that will make 2012 the most meaningful year ever. At that point my little nagging hole of uncertainty began to fill up.
If 2012 was my last year to live, what would I do?
Have better relationships
I am antisocial by nature and as time has gone by I have become more misanthropic and closed off with my friends and family. I don’t speak with my family and long-distance friends that often. I find it hard to make new friends, and I never let the ones close to me know how much they really matter. In my last year I would like to be a huge bundle of radiant love, and let everyone I know how much they truly mean to me. I want to take down my walls and build bridges.
Self-love is hard for most people, women in particular. Every day we are being bombarded with messages that we are not skinny, smart, successful or sexy enough. I have found myself in a whirlwind of self-improvement for the past 5 years. Why do I feel like I am not good enough right now and I need to be improved? Even if I don’t complete anything else in 2012, I want to fall in love with myself and accept who I really am, regardless of what anyone else believes.
If you have looked for me at any time in the last few months, you would have found me in my apartment, in my pajamas, basking in the glow of my monitor. I am in a new city and I have hardly explored it. I have the whole world at my fingertips and the ability to get up and go, but I have locked myself in a cage of blog reading and sweatpants. In my last moments, I want to explore my physical surroundings at all times, looking at everything with “new eyes” and the curiosity of a child. I also want to explore mentally by learning new things and discovering secrets hidden in my own mind.
I am almost 29 years old and I have still not traveled outside of the USA. FOR SHAME! I want to spend 2012 traveling to new places and exploring new cultures! New Zealand and Tokyo, here I come!!
Create big things
Nothing feels better than creating something bigger than yourself that can help other people in profound ways. It is the one thing that I have always wanted to do but I feel that I have not really attained. I spend most of my time learning about what other people have created and being envious. I plan to make 2012 a year of creation and innovation.
Have a home
I am a homebody and love spending time curled up with my boy and my kitten. The fact that I have lived 5 different places in 6 years, tears my heart out. I am aching to have a permanent home that I can nest into and build a stable life. This may seem like a silly goal to set if the world is going to end in a few months, but even if I get 3 months of that feeling of “home”, it will be worth it.
This one is simple. It is something I have always wanted to do. I’m doing it this year.
Become more spiritual
I am not a religious person, but I am very spiritual. In the past few months I have found myself tapping more into that side of myself. Spirituality is profoundly important if the end is near! I want to get more clear on what I truly believe this year and tap into the energies that are within and around me.
Do impossible things
In 2012, I want to do things that most people would consider impossible. I want to invoke Oohs and Aahs. I want to bend beliefs. Defy convention. I want to make people think differently.
This whole idea takes the trite saying, “live every day like it is your last” and puts an end date on it. A deadline. It takes an improbable theory and makes it an undeniable truth. It creates urgency in your everyday life to not miss out. Sometimes it is easy to stay inside on a beautiful day, blow off your friends to stay home and watch Netflix instant, or troll the internet instead of creating meaningful and lasting projects. But what if you only had a few nice days left? What if your friends were only going to be around for a few more months? What if you needed to do something BIG before it is all over? Wouldn’t your life me more genuine and fulfilling? Would you be completely and totally present?
If the world were ending any day, would you stay at that job you despise? Would you spend your nights watching reality TV? Would you do things that make you feel awful or good? Would you reconcile with an old friend or lover?
How would you spend every day to make sure you were getting the most out of it?